WARNING. Enter this sight at your own risk. Ugliness exists. You may not like what you see. It may sting you like a bumble bee. It may trigger a memory, sending you to the crematory. P.S. No porn just topic and lanuage could possibly offend. But I have to be real, I cannot pretend. This blog is for me, not you. So, if you do not like, then shoo.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011



I don't mean to be a bitch or maybe I do.  But, I just want him to STAY OUT of my room.  I was up around 5:00am and when I went into my room, he had left some of his shit papers and a bill on MY COMPUTER.  I hate him.  It ruined my whole day.  I could not write anything worth a damn.  Now I feel all this negative energy in here and I do not know how to make it go away.  Why did he leave that crap on my computer.  Oh, I know why.  He is like a fucking male dog marking his territory.  Asshole.  I have to go to your office today.  I talked to 'D' yesterday and she asked me if I was coming to 'hang out'.  I told her I probably would and now I know I AM FOR SURE.  I did not want to leave your office yesterday.  It just feels so positive and I do not feel like all the walls are closing in on me like at home.  I don't know where all this anger comes from...I feel like I am going to explode.  The problem is that my anger scares me.  I feel like I will lose control of myself...like I will go insane.  Then it turns to pain and the pain feels overwhelming and I need to make it stop.  Then, someone else will 'come out'.  This can be positive.  It just depends on who it is...it could be negative it they are feeling the pain and try to stop it by cutting.  Life is so fucked up.  I cannot deal with this.  I have to go.


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